Futilitarianism, as espoused by Blanton, is a philosophy worthy of our attention... because, if practiced in spontaneous interaction, it’s so damn liberating!
Think about it. By letting go of all but the moment - that split-second of time which is the here-and-now - is freedom personified. When we’re trapped by self-delusion in who we think we are, as defined by ourselves first... before, secondly, wasting valuable resources and precious mental energy… working overtime… to sell this idea of ourselves to others, is precisely that moment we recognize the futility of self-defeating behavior… which only puts us at cross-purposes with what we so desperately wish to engender – namely, trust in the truth… and trust in each other.
And it’s at this very instance... we can laugh and laugh... at ourselves!
Quite an apt name for a book title too. As the author describes it - radical honesty - we can also be freed from the esoteric jargon one more -ism often calls to mind - just one more word to add to an over-sized collection we could well do without.
Put better, and to recognize its truth more fully, is this notion of futility. It's simply futile to be less-than-honest – and so counter-productive.
Conversation always begins with that conversation we have with ourselves… well before engaging in conversations with others…
… Because all change – and honesty – must necessarily start from within.
Presentism, utilitarianism, authoritarianism... like a few other isms I’ve read about, tends to unmask and discombobulate us… if we allow it… too.
Why anyone would be satisfied… with constantly distorting the truth of his own tomfoolery… is unreasonable as can be. It's a futile exercise indeed to expect cooperation in collaborative arrangements when we deny the truth of our game-playing, is it not?
Trust is earned much more easily when we admit from the get-go the futility of maintaining such foolish illusions, social niceties and conventions. The best relationships live in language, heart-to-heart talks, and co-produced efforts… facilitated by uncommonly honest dialog.
True, we shouldn’t try to steamroll someone who’s built up walls around themselves, and are slow to accept us, let alone, trust us. And why the hell should they? Like all animals in the natural world, we need a little time to run, fight, or first sniff things out.
And, truth be told, we’ve built our own monuments – beset by our own boundaries – and we’re wrapped in the trappings of personality and stagecraft.
Great teachers, like you, like your readers, are all around us… and we’re all attracted to trust and truth-telling – if only we care to drill down and admit it. In fact, just recently, I learned the five predictable stages of any relationship, as taught by Paul and Layne Cutright, are:
• Attraction
• Power Struggle
• Cooperation
• Synergy
• Completion
It’s at the power struggle stage that trust becomes the prickly predominant issue, though it’s an important consideration throughout the relationship. Here is where most relationships fail, since this is where assumptions, hard-and-fast rules, framing and contextual issues, authoritarian constructs, customs and traditions… false beliefs… bedevil all of us. Synergy is a lot like getting into an ergonomic flow… which exponentially grows that collaboration into a systematic growth vehicle – one which rewards its mindful participants into the future.
But then these are just words, aren’t they? Language will work for or against us – just give it its pesky due – you know, words are not always the stuff... of our finest... or wildest... dreams.
Because investing in a quality relationship worth having seldom just happens, the sooner we can merge our communication pathways… into a give-and-take of radical honesty… seems like good practical advice… and makes perfect sense, besides.
Personally, I love Blanton's metaphors of the village idiot and the noticing being. As I fancy being one myself, I take sincere selfish pleasure in coaxing it out of others!
[I, likewise, savor your lines... "I'd like to give props to humility... "Now tell me the truth, Charlie, when do I get to borrow your script?]
Does this mean I’m above it all or beyond self-delusion? Of course not. It merely means I’ve chosen to not be so hard on myself and others… because I want to stay cognizant… that we’re all stars… on the same bill… in this same movie – as one cast.
Does this mean I need to check myself before calling a spade a spade when I see fit? No again. I see no point in being a phony... to spare someone… or some unfeeling, unthinking corporation... with the same inalienable rights as an individual… their false pride… or their illusion... they are somehow my superior.
Nor is it my intent to be unkind. We must agree to disagree from the start – it’s the stuff of what cooperative and honest engagement is all about – if we’re to be honorable about our expectations… of altruistic intention… straight across the board.
However misunderstood, all of us are geniuses or budding geniuses, experts and those not-so-expert (ignore-ant) about many of the same inconsequential things – at the very least, we’re all magnificent works-in-progress – and it makes me comfortable and happiest to engage others in similar spirit.
Meaning and intent is best understood when commonality of purpose is known and allowed to flourish. Short of anything else, we continue to languish in isolation. As for who or what we are… it’s largely pretense anyway. Hell, just the act of opening our mouths puts our language under a microscope, and to paraphrase Alan Watts, “subjects us all to a very cruel hoax.”
In spite of our play-acting… the rain will fall when it must… and only truth will tell. So why let our circumstances and pageantry bring ruin upon our day?
Always expect the unexpected and make the best you can make of it – moment by moment – by freeing yourself of unnecessary baggage at every turn.
This, for me, is the great lesson to take away from everyday one-on-one experience: "I’m completely made up and so are you. Now that we acknowledge it, how can we make history together? Do you believe we have a chance to make something good happen? Like right now?"
There’s a kind of tyranny in words… and language… when we insist our jousting and one-upmanship knows no common ground. But who are we to deny one another the freedom to employ it… in all our ways with words… if all is fair… in love and war?
Bucky Fuller believed we live in a time when cooperation cannot be put off much longer if we expected to save ourselves from each other. And the primary tool at our disposal for accomplishing this convergence of thought?
[The plain and spoken word… Hmmm… me thinks, perhaps, I'd best define our terms a little more scientifically! Am I to lie down with the dogs of conflict and war - content in these futilitarian beliefs - and just rot away... divorced from the ultimate futility of it all? Are words... all by themselves... really all that useful?]
If we never stop learning about ourselves and each other, new experience becomes our constant ally and newest best friend. The energy one might derive from a mastermind group, for example – a place where the dots can be connected and connections shared – is exhilarating… and fills us with a sense of playfulness… earnestness about our busy-ness… and fun.
By being childlike and full of wonder about the world – in all our circumstances – we remain… forever young at heart…
… And maybe a little less sure about ourselves – despite our sincerity.
Thanks for introducing this colorful writer to us, Charlie. He’s not so hard to fathom in the least; nor is his –ism so hard to grasp.
When we’re honest about the truth, we need look no further than the ends of our noses.
I can actually see mine… and believe it to not be so pretty… but I trust you’ll permit me… to grin and bare it!
[Do forgive me my wordiness – I’m bereft of my senses, lack all manner of decorum, and have nothing better to do. You're O.K. with that, right? ~lol~]
Postscript:
This writing sample is taken from a 2007 internet blog comment. At that time, I still had an interest in selling myself as a copywriter. I reasoned that in order to accomplish this, I must attach myself to those who had a keen interest in developing and protecting their brands.
So how better to do this than by interacting with internet marketers who were focused on the gifting and reputation economy that was then in vogue? Who potentially could provide a referral or a testimonial on my behalf if called upon?
Anyway, since abandoned, or at least placed on hold - silly me, you know I can't always tell.